banthapediafandomcom-20200213-history
Tatooine
Tatooine was a remote backwater planet where nothing important ever happened. Nobody who ever lived on Tatooine ever amounted to anything. Tatooine is a desert planet. Nothing grows on Tatooine. Ever. Yet for some reason people live there. Official Language The official language of Tatooine is Huttese unless you're a main character in which case you conveniently speak basic, and thank God for that because there is no frickin' way I'm reading sub titles for two hours. This is Star Wars folks, not Apocalypto. Indigenous Species Despite the fact that the planet is devoid of all vegetation and water,. Tatooine oddly supports a few non-sentient indigenous species. This miracle is due largely in part to the amazing anatomy of the Womp Rat which is able to metabolize sand. The Womp Rat is near the bottom of the Tatooine food chain and is eaten by nearly ever other species on the planet including the Bantha which you might think is a grazer but that's stupid because nothing grows on Tatooine. Banthas eat Womp Rats. Banthas in turn are eaten by the Sarlacc Pit. Scientists are unsure if the Sarlacc Pit is actually species as there is only one of them. It has no apparent means of locomotion leading some to theorize that the Sarlacc Pit is actually the planet's anus. Lastly, the apex predator on the planet is the Krayt Dragon, but fortunately for the Womp Rats, Banthas and Sarlacc Pit, Krayt Dragons do not exist. Places of Interest There are three main space ports on Tatooine. They are Mos Eisley, Mos Espa and Mos Def. One of the most treacherous places on the planet is the Jundland Wastes which is amazing that one part of a desert planet can be considered a "waste" compared to the rest of it. It must be pretty crappy to be more deserty than the rest of the desert so you probably want to steer clear. Plus the Tusken Raiders will jack you! Boonta Eve is the hub of recreation on the planet, and that recreation is pod racing. Thousands flock to the race despite the fact that for all but one and a half seconds of the race, the pod racers are out of view. The industrial hub of the planet is Anchorhead. The name Anchorhead is a bit of a mystery as Tatooine has no bodies of water on which one would need to anchor something, so the population should lack a frame of reference. Anchorhead was mostly likely named by outlanders who are constantly hiding out on Tatooine. Anchorhead is where you'd go to have your droids memory erased and is also the home of Ackmena's joke shop. The capital of the planet is Bestine City, though the only thing that ever happens there is the Mr. Tatooine Pageant. A Good Place to Hide Tatooine is the favorite hiding place of those needing refuge in the galaxy. Obi-Wan Kenobi hid there twice. After Palpatine found him there the first time, you would think that would be the first place he'd look the second time Obi-Wan went into hiding. For a smart guy, Palpatine is pretty dumb. But to get back to the original point, nothing important happens on Tatooine. Important People and Events on Tatooine On the other hand, Tatooine was very important. *It was the birthplace of Anakin Skywalker, who became Darth Vader. *It was the home of the notorious crime lord Jabba the Hutt. *Luke Skywalker, who eventually brought about the destruction of the Empire grew up there. *Obi-Wan Kenobi lived there for a long time. *Ki-Adi-Mundi visted there to hang out with some renegade Jedi. *The Jawa Football League started there. *Ron Burgundy was the mayor of Anchorhead, before being elected Governor of the planet. He continued to live in Anchorhead, despite Bestine being the capital. *There was a major annual podrace there. *Lots of super important people hung out in the Cantina. *The Bacon Brothers lived there. *The Bacon Brothers Band played a freee concert there. "freee" is of course Jawa for "really expensive". Category:Planet Category:Outer Rim Category:Tatooine